Shane and the $2 Bill.

I'll admit it. I have a crush on the guy who works at the front desk of my gym. His name is Shane. He doesn't wear a name tag, but he's there often enough that I was able to figure it out. You know, someone says something like, "Hey Shane - we're out of towels!" or "Shane, can you make this guy his protein shake?" or "Dude, Shane, what do you think of my new weight lifting gloves?"

I go to a really hard core gym.

Rachel is sort of a bully about Shane and told me that I had to stop talking about him, or she was going to ask him out for me. Mortifying - she's like my mom.

So last night I devised my own really mature plan to talk to Shane. It was inspired by the shenanigans of my 8th graders and a $2 bill. You see, it's a family tradition that my grandmother mails me a $2 bill with holiday cards. It was something my grandpa Gordon started back when he went to the barbershop, and it lives on. I was carrying my $2 bill from Valentine's Day in my wallet and decided last night it would be a good excuse to talk to Shane when I bought my water bottle. Then he could remember me as the tall girl with the $2 bill.

Good plan, huh?

I told Rachel about the plan, and she agreed to be my accomplice. But when we stepped into the gym, there was someone else at the counter occupying Shane's time. A friendly girl greeted us from behind the counter, but we didn't care. We needed to buy a water bottle from Shane.

Rach jumped in with her quick thinking skills and started stalling. She asked questions about childcare during the week. Then she asked about it on the weekends. Finally, she asked about childcare in the evenings.

All this time, Shane was still busy. Rachel was about to ask a dumb question about protein shakes or nutritional cookies when I stopped her. I had to buy the water from the girl so we could get to working out. I reluctantly gave the lady behind the counter $2 bill.

"OH WOW!" she exclaimed, "Do we even take these?"

I chitchatted halfheartedly about the $2 bill. This conversation was supposed to be for Shane. My best plan ever for love was ruined. Now I have to wait for another $2 bill before I can talk to him, so I will probably just have a crush until Easter.